Mor Mor Love

On Being a Far Away Mor Mor

2011-05-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

It's hard being Mor Mor and PaPa from sooooo far away. I had always hoped to be a constant in my grandbabies' lives - it was my goal. It is still a goal but takes a lot more work and never quite the same as "being there".

One way I have helped myself to be reminded of them everyday was to use my 60th birthday to get everyone together for a family photo. We met in CA and took this picture on a rainy day at Laguna Beach. My idea is to blow it up real big and hang it in a place that I will see them many times a day. It is a physical reminder to pray for each one - individually- specific needs. I love them all so much.

This mother's day was a very weepy day. I hate the stupid Hallmark-made-up holidays like Mother's Day. It is always such a huge marketing tool to make a small minority feel good but a majority of people feel really bad, sad, mad. Now there's even a grandparents day. Geesh. Knock it off Hallmark. I miss them so much it only makes it worse.

2011-03-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

For my Sisters...

2010-08-16T08:14:00.001-07:00

I love you my sisters.
I don't just love you....I LIKE you too!
I like you because of this and that,
because of what you do and don't do...
but mostly because of who you both are
through and through.

You help me to balance life,
and I help you to do the same.
When the hard rains fall,
I hold an umbrella for you.
When the future gets foggy,
you hold up hopeful signs for me.

Sometimes we don't see each other
for a long, long time.
I'm on an island far away and
you are in the maze of "how do I do life?"
or in the city of work, work, work.

But I know that if you had
a sad something happen to you,
I would zoom to your side.
Or if I ever fell into a big hole,
I know you wouldn't just say,
"That's that!" and walk away.
You'd climb down and help me
no matter how slippy and dark it was.

And I know if one of us
is lost at sea,
the other two would look tirelessly.
And would say, "You're not as lost
as you think you are."
And we would be right.

But...being close isn't all peaches and cream

There are days we truly dislike
each other's snippy ways
or the way someone is truffling and snuffling.
AND there are those days
when someone is not being so sporty either,
and we say, "I need
some peace, go away."

But then...peaceful isn't always
what it is cracked up to be.
A lot of things seems out of balance,
and the world seems somehow harder.
And after a while, even the best reason
to be angry begins to make
no sense at all.

So we talk..
and talk and talk
to make it OK again,
BECAUSE being sisters is bigger
than being angry.
And we say, "let's never fight again."
but we don't really mean it, because
we're just us,
(not a bunch of goody-two-shoes,
or perfect-in-every-way people
who smile all the time and
never get mad).

We all have flaws
and fizzles
and foibles
WE'RE SISTERS!
and we'll be sisters until
the end of always...
because liking is a thing that
grows and grows, even through
the hard parts.

adapted for sisters from "I like You"
by Sandy Gingras

On being Mor Mor

2010-07-11T12:36:00.000-07:00

Our little grandbabies, Kelsey and Hailey, just left us after 2 1/2 weeks. We were so busy that we are tired but it feels a little empty around here. We did a lot of stuff while they were here. Visited Breckenridge for Kingdom Days and stayed in our neighbors condo for a couple of nights. Then back home for just some normal stuff; running through the sprinklers, swimming at the whale slide pool, playing dress-up and store, chasing bunnies and playing Wii. Kelsey was queen on the tightrope on Wii (as was her mom) and running after the kitty. Papa was the King of skiing stuff and I dominated on hula hoop. Yes! We went to the Children's Museum in Denver one day and then Papa took some time off and we drove to Glenwood Springs. We stayed in the Hotel Colorado and swam in the natural hot springs pools. We took a day trip to Boulder and discovered a wonderful park and watched a magic show and rode a piggy!

Hailey (3) had a hard time saying MorMor. Most of the time I was "her" or "you" but finally I heard her say MoMo (that was close enough). Kelsey and I have so many similar interests that I keep forgetting that she is only 5 years old. She is such a fun girl. The most fun she had was playing "Tea Party" and dressing up - we used the tea set I got for Hope when she was little. She dressed up in Carlee and Sara-Britt's old dance uniforms. Who knew??
It's really wonderful to be Mor Mor!

Rio High School Memories

2009-10-24T19:49:00.001-07:00

I have often wondered why it is that the four years we spend in High School have such an impact on our lives? Why is it that when I hear certain songs on the oldies but goodies station I am immediately transported back to an exact place and time that I heard it forty years ago? It is like those forty years in between don't exist. AND why when we receive and invitation to a reunion do we go, or at least think about going?

I graduated from Rio Americano High School in 1969 and moved to Southern California to go to college. I never moved back to Northern California, so the chances of ever running into anyone I went to High school with was very remote. And now I’m so old I’m not sure when I see someone from the past - which past are they from? But, I can say that I think about many of my fellow 69ers and am just curious enough to want to know how their journey has been and want to know “Rest of their Story.”

All of us have a story.

I was asked recently to describe an insecurity I remember having around the time I entered High School? An insecurity??? How about how to narrow that down to just one? Just thinking about that first year of high school scares me and I still carry a little bit of these around. Did I look good enough? Did anyone really know how totally insecure I was? Would all the upper classmen think I’m stupid? Would they all see me get off the bus? Would I find the right bus to get home? Would I find my classes or wander around looking like an idiot? (Still have dreams about that.) Where was I going to sit at lunch? Would I know anyone or have to sit by myself and look really stupid? There wasn’t a lot I remember about the academics but a lot I remember about how important appearances were. What I learned was that you would care less what people think about you if you knew how knew how little they did… and act as if you belong (or fake it till you make it) somehow has the long term effect of making you believe you do.

I don’t remember much about my freshman year. I know I had some oxford shoes and I thought they were super groovey. I took “ALM. FRENCH. LEVEL 1, typing (who knew how important THAT would be?) and had my first serious kissing session with Scottie Farnsworth. I used my yearbook signatures to help me remember that year and mostly what I see is that someone drew a beard and mustache on my freshman yearbook picture. I remember feeling pretty much lonely and hormonal. My family had recently moved to Sacramento and I still didn’t have a lot of friends. My sister Cindy and I had gone to Starr King together the year before but now I didn’t even have her to hang with. Dawn Johnson, Marilyn Manier, (recently died of a heart attack at 57 years old) Katie Gunn and Kathe Quinn befriended me, but I still felt lonely a lot of the time. It was a constant tightrope walking between showing the confidence I wanted to convey to everyone and hiding the insecurity I had hoped to keep secret.

At the end of freshman year there were tryouts held for JV cheerleader and I decided to try out. Before our move from Modesto, I had tried out and won head cheerleader for 8th grade and had to resign that summer when our family moved to Sacramento. It was a heartbreak for me to have to move at such an important part of my life when things were just beginning to go right, so I had this drive to see if I could make cheerleader again. I didn’t think I had a chance but miracles do happen and I was elected! Trisha Leverty, Susie Harris and I were the new JV Cheerleaders. YAYYYYYY, GO TEAM I hoped somehow my life could change with this new direction and purpose.

Sophomore year was a lot of fun. In some ways my life did change. There WAS new direction and purpose. I had cheerleading practice and games, met new friends and got more involved at my church. I was feeling a little more like I belonged. Where I didn’t belong was Geometry. I never had to struggle so much for a D in my life. I had done OK in Algebra 1 but Geometry and I never made a connection. I’ve been told by some educators, that very often if you do OK in Algebra and Trig, you might struggle with Geometry and vice versa. Geometry is a different kind of math that requires logic and proofs. I know am not logical. I have had to learn to be more logical; to follow a logic takes a lot of my brainpower. I am so much more a “feeling” or mood person, but it was the first time I realized that I couldn’t do anything I put my mind too (like I had been told). I had to admit I had limits, weakness and I could fail. What I learned was to grow up, you have to resist living in a fantasy world and make a friend with reality. And, that failure is not as bad a thing as I thought. In many ways it provides an energy to do better.

I loved my English teacher, Mr. Epperson. It is the one class I remember the most. He was not afraid to try new stuff. He showed movies in class; The Haunting, I remember because it scared me and especially because we were not allowed to watch stuff like that at home. We had to read Brothers Karamatsov. I loved the discussions about the book. It increased my appreciation of classic literature and the power it had to change my thinking about things. Why I remember that class, I’m not sure but I think it is like this- “When the student is ready - the teacher shows up.” (Side note – I heard that the reason he wasn’t around my Jr. and Sr. year is that he was fired for being gay. His wife left him- big scandal.) Regardless, he was one of the best teachers there at the time.

One of the most humiliating things happened to me Sophomore year was when an upper classman invited me to homecoming. I had to really work on my dad to let me go because there was dancing involved. (He was opposed to that.) But, mom spoke up for me and I was finally able to go. At the dance this upper classman happened to get back together with his girlfriend, and her date, who stood with me watching them dance together, ended up having to take me home. Talk about rejection. It took me years to get over the wound to my delicate ego.

At the end of Sophomore year I tried out to be in the RA’ettes. I loved to watch them perform at games and believed it could be my chance to be on a great team. I ended up the shortest on the team and was assigned to be on the end – always last or first. Many of my friends were chosen to be RA’ettes too, which made it really great. I also switched from French to Latin because the Latin Club had a great toga party at the end of the year.

My Junior year was marked by hard work. RA’ette practices were in the early morning before school and I am not a morning person. My classes were pretty hard that year. The lessons I learned in Geometry were reinforced with Chemistry (Thanks Mr. LaDue). I LOVED my English class with Mrs. Moulton. What an outstanding educator. She helped me on my way to love the art of writing. I was pretty bad but loved the expression and creativity it provided, AND her methodology in her pedagogy inspires me still.

I met some great girls in RA’ettes and loved being “part of” a group. Many great memories include, Anne, Wendy, Bette (or Gaye), Michelle, Becky and Sarah Lamb. Many thanks to Sarah who drove her classic car (Queen Ann?) all over for us when I was a Soph. and I was always the one in the trunk with Dawn when we went to the drive in. It had a great folding back seat. One thing I learned as a result of being part of the team is that in a group of girls - there are always going to be mean girls. There were challenges in deciding how to behave in the midst of meanness. I didn’t always handle it well, mostly got defensive and was mean back. That never felt good and so I struggled to learn how to handle it when I felt threatened. Not sure I learned how to do that in High School, but later in life I can say that I have learned to “stay in my shoes” and do a little better in conflict situations.

I was asked to the Junior Prom by the handsome Rick Crow. My family didn’t have a lot of money, so for my first formal my mom had to sew my dress. She took me to a fancy dress place in town and I tried on some gowns and found one I LOVED. It was yellow dotted-swiss and had a beautiful ruffle down the back. My mom went out, bought the material and made an exact duplicate of the dress. I loved that dress. Dressing up was so fun and I was so excited about that night. When we arrived at the dance, Joan English was wearing the actual store bought dress exactly like mine. There’s nothing like showing up in the same dress for everyone to make comparisons and I tried to avoid her the whole night. She, of course was darling and younger, I felt so insecure. I had a wonderful time otherwise and Rick was a perfect gentleman.

Try-outs for cheerleader were held at the end of Jr. year. There were about 24 girls or so who tried out for 3 positions. My sister tried out and was running against me. I was so nervous the whole day they counted votes because Bob Crites saw me during the day and told me that the race was between Cindy and me for Head Cheerleader. The thought kept running through my head what if Cindy gets the most votes and becomes Head over me??? I wondered if I could handle that. The rest of the day until the announcement, I was a nervous wreck. When it was announced that I had won Head and Cindy and Becky Dugas were my squad, I about collapsed. I had gone through so many scenarios in my mind related to how to be a gracious loser, or would I just quit or run away and what that would look like, that when I didn’t have to stress about it anymore, I about fainted. Be anxious for nothing is what was reinforced in my mind.

Senior year was such a “gas”. I was part of a group -Steve H. and Carol, Steve Z. Phil Oates, Mary Jane Gooch, Dawn Johnson. Gordon Langstaff and others. There was Young Life, the raft race and the Purple Royal Flush, Football games, Basketball games, after game dances, TeePeeing, the haunted house in Gordon’s mustang and getting busted by the police, football and picnics at the park, parties on the weekend and driving all the drunks home. I remember after one of Gordon’s parties where I was driving his mustang and the passenger door was opened and I was looking the other way when I (who was driving because I was the only one sober) backed out and the door kind of bent back the other way. I felt pretty bad about causing damage to his cool mustang. Sorry Gordon, I think I was most likely needed more backing out of a garage experience.

I never touched drugs and didn’t drink, but I sure saw a lot of that my Senior year. It was the beginning of the “experiment with drugs hippie era” that summer right about the timing of Woodstock and a man on the moon. I had one of the most influential classes that year. It was Biology with Mrs. Leach. I found I loved Biology. I loved the “living” part of it. It fit the Sanguine part of me. The study of life. I actually graduated from UC Davis with a major in Biological Sciences mainly because of that class. Ann Henderson was my lab partner for the dissection of the shark. SMELLY. Her death that year was a “come to Jesus” meeting for me. I learned that Life is short and you never, ever know when it will happen to you. Which reminds me …I went to Bob Crites funeral in Torrance, CA in 2001 and it was another sobering experience of the same nature. I was reminded again to always be prepared for eternity to happen.

Cheerleading for Football, Basketball and occasional other appearances, like when the Rio Olympic swimmers had a welcome home from the Mexico Olympics. We even got our picture in the paper. There was a lot of talent at our small high school! Made me so proud. I did go to the Latin Club toga party, but not sure it was worth transferring from French. It kind of came back to bite me in college for a language requirement. I went to the Senior Ball with David Christenson. We doubled with Susie Harris and was it Peter Hart??? Not sure. But it was a fun night. I think we changed clothes and went ice blocking or something later that night, but my memory is fuzzy. I think I had a real early curfew that made me mad because it was the night that day light savings happened.

Andy Rice and I dated senior year. He took me to see Chicago at the Cow Palace. Loved it and think of that still whenever I hear Does Anyone Really Know What Time it IS? I remember we watched the men landing on the moon at my house that summer. Andy was so smart and so mysterious that it intrigued me. I was just a dumb cheerleader and always felt out of my league. I had been accepted to Azusa Pacific College on a scholarship and grant so I spent that summer getting ready to leave. I was a life guard and swim instructor at Arden Park Pool which was a fun job, and then, I left Sacto for good.

I think in all I feel really blessed to have had such a “normal” high school experience. A lot of that has to do with the fact that I had a wonderful normal family to come home to. So what have I learned? To be so grateful and enjoy the memories. Thanks to so many of you that made it a great four years to grow up in and to learn how to “do life”.

2009-07-29T11:52:00.000-07:00

Steamboat Springs...what a beautiful spot on the earth! Summertime is a great time to see it. I was here 20 years ago and it has grown up.
Nycole brought Hailey (2) and Kelsey (5) out for a little vacation. Howard took the week off and away we went. We stayed at the Bronze Tree condos right at the base of Mt. Werner.

We drove to Steamboat Lake and went on a nature walk and gave Kelsey swimming lessons in the pool. Downtown Steamboat has some really cool places to eat right on the river and lots of people were tubing as we ate our picnic lunch. Lots of cowboys and mining history here.

A beautiful Life

2009-06-28T06:30:00.000-07:00

Howard Voien Jr.

1923-2009

Howard’s father, Howard Voien Jr., passed away peacefully on June 19, 2009, just shy of his 86th birthday. When we heard he was failing, we jumped in the car and drove to CA to hopefully see him for the last time. Howard sat with him for 3 days as he struggled and on Friday morning he breathed his last with his children and family at his side.

He was born on July 13, 1923 in Sioux City, Iowa, the 5th of 7 children born to Norwegian-American parents Augusta and Halvor Lars Voien. His family moved to Southern California when he was six years old. He attended grammar school at Gulf Elementary in Wilmington and graduated from Phineas Banning High School in 1941.

After High School worked at Terminal Island painting Liberty Ships and then enlisted in the U.S. Coast Guard in 1942. He was assigned beach patrol on horseback in Morro Bay until 1943 when he was selected to attend Radio Operator School and became a radio operator. He received orders to report to SS Freight Supply and served in the Pacific Theater visiting many South Pacific islands providing support for the duration of the war.

He was honorably discharged in 1946. After the war he worked for a short time on a fishing boat off the coasts of Central and South America before going back to school. He entered Woodbury College and received an Associate Arts Degree in Interior Design. He enjoyed a long career in Interior Design in Long Beach as a salesman for draperies and fine furniture.

Howard was a member of the Gloria Dei Lutheran Church and sang in the choir for many years. He made many good friends there who kept him company after his stroke in 2006. His family was the most important thing to him in his life. After his beloved wife of 33 years died he kept busy playing tennis, golf and volunteered at the Los Angeles Maritime Museum in San Pedro working on the Tall Ships.

He was preceded in death by his beloved wife Inez and is survived by his son, Howard Voien III, stepdaughters Gayle Reynolds and Nancy Engelman, three granddaughters, Nycole Bennecke, Lisa Billings, and Angelyn Miracle, seven great-grandchildren and a number of much loved nieces and nephews, grandnieces and grandnephews. He was everyone’s favorite Grandpa, Uncle and friend. Memorial Services were held at Gloria Dei Lutheran Church on Monday June 22, 2009.

Grits and Stuff

2009-04-19T13:39:00.000-07:00

We are back from the East Coast where we had a fun vacation between Howard's launch and projects. Hilton Head, SC was so beautiful, but the weather didn't cooperate very well. We didn't get to use the beautiful pool at the Marriott until the day we checked out. BUT....we did get to raise the flag on our pool chairs and sampled the rooty tooty fruity drinks before we left. It was one of our lofty goals for our vacation.(Note the blue flags- Yeah!)We played at one of the Marriott's beautiful Robert Trent golf course with the threat of rain all day, but were spared until after we were done. Thank you!

We drove one day to Savannah, Georgia that is only about an hour from Hilton Head. The drive to Savannah was through the "low country" of Georgia and it was such a beautiful drive with the Spanish Moss hanging from the trees. Soooo southern. We took a trolly ride and saw the city of Savannah and learned about its history. Amazing! It was founded in 1533 by some men in England that created a charter and were going to plant Mulberry trees to grow silk worms. There are 24 squares with beautiful homes around them. This was the square with a statue of Charles Westley celebrated as the father of Methodists and opened the first Methodist chuch in Savannah in the 18th century or so. So much history. AND we ate at Lady and Sons owned by Paula Dean and her boys. Lots of buttery stuff and pulled pork. You have to visit if you are ever in the area.

We went left Hilton Head, South Carolina and drove through Georgia and down to Amelia Island, Florida. We stayed at the Ritz Carlton on the island. WOW! It was so beautiful and such a treat to stay at such a swanky place. Fernandina is the name of this little town on the island where Ponce de Leon from Spain landed looking for the fountain of youth in the 1500's. We played golf at an Arnold Palmer course that kicked us both.

Then it was back to Cape Canaveral and Howard had to work some more. I just read and got to go to the beach. Rough. The picture below is the Canaveral Towers where we usually stay. It's right on a beautiful beach and we went to bed listening to the sound of the waves and woke each morning to the sun rising over the ocean.

So then we could probably think of ourselves as snowbirds this year. We came back to Colorado and celebrated Easter and then it snowed and snowed. Crazy!

Rocket Scientist

2009-04-11T17:49:00.000-07:00

I just never figured I would be associated with AEROSPACE technology. Well...I kind of married into it. It is all so exciting. I never had any idea what kind of - A. money is spent in this industry, B. how smart everyone is ( exclusive rocket scientists, etc.) C. How much money and people's careers are at stake (in the event something goes wrong and it is all blown up) and D. The huge amount of Analytical processes it takes (overwhelming attention to detail).

I just got back from spending a month at Cape Canaveral with my amazingly talented honey bunny(see picture). (Who would hate to read this because he would blush all over and protest and make me take it off, OK who has told me to delete). What an amazing thing it is to get to be a part of this great adventure if only it means watching a launch from the beach in the middle of the night. YEAH!

This last launch was the one that took us to Florida, to Cape Canaveral. The payload was a GPS satellite for the U.S. Airforce that the Delta II rocket lauched into a perfect orbit. I got up at 4:30 AM, ran down to the beach and watched as it took off. You could only see it for about 2 minutes before it went out of view, but what an exciting two minutes! Here's the link to u tube to watch the whole thing. You can hear Howard's voice as he is polled and says, "Ready" when the launch guy asks for the VSE or Vehicle Systems Engineer's OK. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xiRMQ20doU

2009-02-21T13:20:00.000-08:00

While we were out in California this year, an event happened that was very rare. All of my siblings were together for a day, just the four of us, and it was the first time that has happened since, well...forever. With Jill in Illinois, me in Denver, Keven in Burbank and Cindy in Santa Barbara, it was amazing that we pulled it off. We took a beautiful hike up into the Santa Barbara mountains. It was an amazingly beautiful clear day and we walked and talked. It was so wonderful to catch up and just spend time being together.
I count it one of my greatest blessings to have 2 wonderful sisters and a handsome funny brother that add so much to my life. We laugh our heads off when we get together and talk about stuff that is important and generally spend time in the "love bubble" (a favorite Kevinism).

We also got to spend a little time with our dad and Rhonda too. Hard to believe that life is passing by so quickly. We still think of ourselves as Darol's little girlsies even though I'm screaming toward being 60!!! Ugh

Love and best kisses...

2009-02-21T13:06:00.001-08:00

We're a little late this year...I was hoping to have Christmas Cards sent out in December, but to our great joy, Bodie Owen Barnes was born on Christmas Eve and we got delayed. So then we thought maybe New Years cards, but that passed also. I was sure that we could do Valentines Day Cards but those got delayed due to a launch at Vandenberg. But while we were in Santa Barbara with my sisters Cindy and Jill, they took this photo. So, here's our card:

From Valentines Day and BEYOND...

with love and best kisses

Howard and Candy

Just Big

2009-01-10T14:49:00.000-08:00

Here's a pciture of Carlee and Bryan about a week before Bodie was born. The look on Bryan's face says it all. It is hard to imagine that a body can stretch out that far, but there it is...

The time I spent with them was precious. It proved to me that what I thought might be true when I moved away to Colorado, is true. And...that is when you live far away and you come and stay with your kids, (or they come to you) the time spent together can be so much more intimate and intense, a result not only of the quality but the quantity of time spent together.

I was always a little bit jealous of Jill when she and their family would come into town. They were all able to spend some quality time with Mom and Dad because they got to stay overnight with them. When I left home, even though I lived close to Mom and Dad, I never spent the night with them or really got to know them well as they matured and aged. I guess it is the result of spending just a few hours together at a time for birthdays and holidays. At Mom's funeral I learned more about her adult life than I ever knew. People shared stories about her and I realized that I had only known a tiny piece of who she was after I had become an adult. It made me sad. I don't want my kids to feel that way at my funeral.

So...all that to say that I believe I can still be the grandma I had hoped to be, even though I am miles away. It just looks a little different. (OK..so maybe I am trying to convince myself, help me out here!)

I am so proud of Carlee and Bryan and the family they have created. Their business seems to be holding up under this market downturn and they work very hard every day. Bryan just finished his first CD. He and his friends Erik and Donny are the PseduoRebels. Way cool - check them out online.

Just before I left for Denver I took this picture on their couch. Bodie is 12 days old. Bryson wasn't very happy since he was watching a CD and we made him pause it to take the picture. What a gorgeous group of people. I mean it! (That's a direct quote from Great Grandpa Darol!)

Bodie arrives!!

2009-01-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

Bryson has a new baby brother! Bodie Owen Barnes was born December 24th at home and weighed in at 9 lbs and 8 oz. He was 22 inches long and seems a little more like a 2 month old than a new born.

He's beautiful.

A little bit fairer than Bryson with blond eyelashes and eyebrows. He's beautiful and such a good baby. Carlee did so well during the delivery in the birthing pool. She was controlled and listened to the midwife so that it was a near perfect experience. Bryan was in with her the whole time holding her and lovin on her. I wasn't as controlled but did my best to hold it together for Carlee's sake.

Our family is so blessed to welcome another healthy grandbaby. We are praising God for this amazing miracle and thanking Him for helping us all through it.

My Hope...

2008-11-19T14:36:00.000-08:00

Hope is a thing with feathers

that perches on the soul...

So begins the beautiful poem written by Emily Dickinson. The words became dear to my mother and gave her much comfort as she struggled in the last days with terminal cancer.

And sings the tune--without the words,

And never stops at all,

Hope...it is a feeling about the future, a feeling of desire and expectation, AND it is also the name of my very own first grandbaby. She was born just a few months before my mother lost her battle with cancer.

The day Hope was born, I was at a conference in Northern California and when I called home to Orange County, I found out her mom had gone into labor. So I hopped the plane and screamed to Hoag Hospital as fast as I could get there. When we arrived at the hospital, the Doctor came out and said it was still going to be a very long time, and told the room full of anxious relatives to go home and come back in the morning. Reluctantly we left the waiting room and headed home and made plans to come back in the morning.

We were on the 55 freeway just about to our house when we got the call she had been born! We made a quick U -turn and screamed back to the hospital. There she was - beautiful and perfect in every way, my very own "Hope" Joy Johnson.

And sweetest in the gale is heard;

And sore must be the storm

That could abash the little bird

That kept so many warm.

Hope's birth was the sweetest event in the most difficult year of my life and just the sound of her name helped to keep me warm. There is something about becoming a grandma for the first time that is just unexplainable. It's very similar to being in love again.

She turns 11 in a few days. Eleven years of HOPE! She is very involved in cheerleading and in a recent competition her team won first place! She's blowing a kiss to the judges. My blessed HOPE. Love you and Happy Birthday!

More tests..

2008-10-31T19:04:00.000-07:00

Sometines God throws a curve ball...Howard has been dealing with absolutely no hearing in his left ear, completely gone. So..after meeting once again with his primary physician he was referred to a specialist, an ENT. They are putting him through (yet again) many tests. The one we went to today tests his balance. We went to the "dizzy doctor" who put him through a test that uses goggles to test his eye movements during a stream of something put in his ears. Anyway...it took 1 1/2 hours and a lot of people get really sick during this test. It's like being on a ride at an amusement park. But he did OK. We really hope that if this is a stupid virus , that it leave soon. It's caused crazy damage and we're tired of it.

It seems way too young to be getting these crazy symptoms. But the more we tell people, the more we hear similar stories. Is it being at altitude??? who knows. Keep us in your prayers.

Update on Howard...

2008-10-18T09:42:00.000-07:00

The MRI and the CT scan were clear. It looks as though it might be a virus of some sort that is affecting his neurological processing. The vertigo and dizzyness is the most problematic at this point but he is not throwing up. He gets a little quezy when he rides in a car and when he reads. It is not getting any better in a hurry either. Sara-Britt and Dr. Aiken both think it might last 4-6 weeks.

Keep us in your prayers!!

Getting Blogger savy

2008-10-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

Just new at this... Takes a long time for me to figure out the bells and whistles but loving the fact that I can just click in my favorites and check out what all the people I'm missing are doing. IT's FABULOUS!

Friendship is...

2008-09-29T15:49:00.000-07:00

Friendship is…
a reward from the past,
an enrichment of the present
and a legacy for the future.

We met in 1970. It was a time in our American history of incredible cultural unrest… racial conflicts, don’t trust anyone over 30, free love and the hippie movement, the Vietnam War and economic uncertainty. For the most part, we were sheltered church girls thrown together at random in the dorms at Azusa Pacific College It was in Clarinda Hall that the girls in the dorm turned into friends that have lasted a lifetime These precious friendships have been one of the sweetest of rewards from the past.

Our dorm rooms were decorated with the typical “Flower Power” bedspreads and posters. In our closets hung mini-skirts and hip hugger jeans. Our dresser drawers bulged with eyeliner and white lipstick, and the biggest concerns for us were what we were going to do on the weekends.

That is not to say that we didn’t attend very challenging classes taught by amazing professors, or that there weren’t any spiritually empowering chapel services. There definitely were. It is just that in addition to the pedagogy there were many additional, important life-learning lessons. The spontaneous parties in our rooms, some crazy road trips and the occasional “campusing experiences” taught us just as much out of class as in. Though some of us had to leave college before graduating because of financial difficulties or to get married, after college we found each other again. We began a weekly Bible Study together a chance to continue a “mini” dorm experience.

Through the 70's we hosted many wedding showers, weddings and then baby showers and more baby showers! New girls were invited to join the Bible Study and we studied scripture, read various books and attended seminars like Bill Gothard and Fascinating Womanhood. Through those years we went through many good times, as well as really bad times, praying and crying together, but always with the great hope of having a place to go to share our burdens and sharpen each other.

But as time went on and situations changed, many of the girls moved out of the area our last meeting was held in 1981.

After a decade of raising children in all parts of the country we called the girls together for a reunion. In 1992 the girls came together from all over the country and met in Palm Desert. It was a sweet reunion. In many ways it was like just another night in the dorm, except that now almost 20 years had gone by since we were in the dorm together. Some of us had children that were now on their own way to college!

After yet another decade or so of still raising children all over the country, we got together again at Azusa Pacific University for a Spiritual Formation weekend in 2002. It was great fun to tour the campus again and to see all the changes. Especially that Clarinda Hall, where we first met, was now a boy's dorm! Eeewww. We met up with some great old friends, some who are now on Azusa Pacific University's Board of Directors!

In September of this year, through some unexpected circumstances, we were able to get together for a spontaneous road trip. One the Azusa chicks has opened a store in downtown Durango, CO. called Cloudberries on Main Street. So we jumped in the car and drove 6 hours to see her store and stay the night. The next day we drove home and the whole way there and back we talked and laughed until our stomachs hurt.

What we realized is that through those Easter parties, bedtime get-togethers, Bible studies and road trips we have been blessed with one of the most enriching experiences even now in the present….Friends.

Friendships like ours are about building a legacy for the future. We are hopeful and look forward to growing old, to becoming little old ladies together. We’re going to stay up late looking at old pictures telling “remember when” stories, laughing until our sides ache. Even now we are beginning to see ourselves becoming a little bit eccentric, taking long walks (and drives), wearing silly hats and acting outrageous in public places. If anyone asks how long we have been friends we can say, “Oh forever... before you were ever born.” Friendship that’s as enduring as ours can only grow better through the years. It is a legacy for the future, not only while we are here on earth, but for an eternity. Who knows??? We might be just down the golden street from each other!

After a long drive home we ate dinner at a restaurant and Jeremiah 29:11 was engraved in the cement steps. We memorialized the verse by surrounding it with the knowledge that God has His plans for us. He has the plan to prosper us, not to harm us and to give us a hope and a future. Thank you Lord for this precious legacy.

On becomming Coloradian - Year 1

2008-08-20T08:01:00.000-07:00

Before we left California, as we were painting and getting our condo ready to sell, we got a call from Nycole and Chris that our grandbaby #6 was on her way. On Howard and my 5th anniversary, May 3, Hailey Nycole Bennecke was born. She was tiny but so beautiful, like a little doll just 4 lbs 9 oz. Big sister Kelsey Ann was so excited to get to hold her new sister when she finally got home. It was a great anniversary gift for us!

Also, just before we left we squeezed in a trip to Pennsylvania for Daniel and Allison Lundstrom's wedding. Sara-Britt graduated with her Masters as a Physician's Assistant for Loma Linda University, and went to Santa Barbara for Jason and Tiffany's wedding. Stephanie Johnson hosted a beautiful shower for Sara-Britt who was getting married to Peter Guinta in Oct. All together 2007 was a huge year for weddings on my side of the family. Jill, me and my cousin Teri each had a child getting married plus Cindy had 2 of her boys get married! Five family weddings for 2007!

After tearful farewells we headed off for Highlands Ranch, Colorado, our new home. We stopped in Las Vegas on our way out to say our goodbyes to the Benneckes. They suggested we stop at Zion National Park. Even though we got there late in the afternoon we took a quick tour. It was just a taste of the beauty we would experience along our drive over the Rockies.

Howard pulled off at just about every pull out as we drove through Utah and over the Rockies. The formations and mountains were like none I had ever seen before. We made a couple of stops for the night so we only drove about 8 hours each day. (That was especially good since the pull offs took up a lot of time.)

When we got to Colorado we stayed in the Embassy Suites for a week or so while we finished closing on our new house. On the Labor Day weekend the moving truck arrived and we moved in. We actually went to Cherry Hills Community Church that weekend and ended up joining the choir. I had thought we might visit a few churches in the area but Howard dragged me over to the sign up place for a "voice placement". AHHHH. So we joined the church and the choir and it was one of the best decisions we could have made. It was the Lord leading us in an amazing way.

Barely had time to settle in when we went back to CA for Sara-Britt's wedding. It was such a wonderful ceremony done by Peter's dad and such a beautiful setting in Temecula. The Centrevol performances, singing, toasts and dancing was fabulous and we were on the last bus back. We didn't want it to end.

We went back to Colorado and now we had all four of our children married. We were truly empty-nesters now. Kind of a moment where we realized we were in a different quarter of our life. We went back a couple of weeks later to go to my cousin Teri's daughter Haley's wedding in Carmel. We took a little mini-vacation and went to Santa Cruz and Cambria after the wedding. It was a beautiful drive along the coast. We're missing the beach.

On Thanksgiving I invited us over to some new friends house for Turkey dinner. Karen and Mark Woodworth are our new best friends here. They took us in as a special newcomers project and it has been fun to have two fun people as a resource for us here in Colorado. They took us up to Mr. Princeton to visit the hot springs. AMAZING place. Mark just recently retired after 35 years as an educator and administrator. He is an amazing golfer and Howard and I won 2nd place in a scramble golf tournament ONLY because Mark (and another good golfer) were in our foursome. Karen teaches middle school math and they live just across the freeway from us. We invite ourselves over to their house often because they have a pool and we love them. We miss having a pool. They are another special God given gift to us as we have transitioned.

Just after a lonely Christmas in 2007, Nycole, Hailey and Kelsey Ann came for a visit. Kelsey Ann and I built a snowman in the backyard with a carrot nose.

In January my sisters Jill and Cindy and my cousin Teri came to help me host a shower for my neice Natalie who was expecting a baby in Feb. The baby, Jack Wyatt Lundstrom was born a couple of weeks early and is an amazingly cute baby boy. They live not too far away from us in Lone Tree, CO.

In February, Jake and Mandie, Katlyn, Hope, Buddy, Carlee and Bryan and Bryson came for a visit. They had rented a huge cabin in Breckenridge and invited June and Wally and Darrol and Steph, Jenny, Missy and Danny and Shannon & Grey to join them. It was going to be a huge family vacation with the great grandparents, parents and cousins. June and Wally got sick just before the trip and couldn't go. It didn't quite go as planned. Jake and Carlee's cousin Danny lives in Castle Rock, CO and they were having a First Birthday celebration for Danny's little girl, Grey. So we celebrated the birthday party in Castle Rock and then headed up to Breckenridge. Meanwhile Stephanie slipped on ice and broke her leg very bad and had to go home. Katlyn and Howard got really sick (high altitude) it snowed like crazy the whole time and we were pretty house bound. We did go ice skating and it SOOOOOOO fun to have the grandbabies close for hugs and playing games, like Rock Star and all sorts of air hockey and pin ball with them while we were snowed in.

March, April, and May were pretty quiet. In June I went with Howard to Cape Canaveral for one of his launches. I saw the shuttle launch and finally his rocket got off the ground. I was there for 16 days without a phone, computer or a car. I got to work on some projects during that time and it was a time of good solitude. I was glad I had that time because on June 18th I got a call from Jill that Jay Jaeger, my brother-in-law of 29 years had died. Cindy and her three boys were in total shock. I got a plane out to Santa Barbara and spent the next few days helping Cindy through an extremely difficult time. It continues to be difficult on many levels, though Cindy is an amazingly stong person with faith in a God that will continue to take care of her during this storm. Pray for Cindy to have wisdom beyond what is normal to handle what she has to handle and for the precious boys.

In July we went back again and spent a couple of weeks with our parents, grandchildren and and celebrated Bryan's 30th birthday party. I also got to take the bus up to LA to see Centrevol perform. That was an experience! I had to be the oldest person there. Howard's mom had surgery and we spent some time helping her. Also, Howard's dad had his 85th birthday. I got to bring him some birthday cake and balloons! In the Colorado airport I met Nycole and the girls and brought them home. Our flights came in at the same time and they stayed to play with us for a week. Kelsey had just celebrated her 4th birthday and pa pa and mor mor took her shopping. This is one of the cute outfits and one of her twin baby dolls.

Now, here we are in August and heading back to California again for a launch in Vandenburg. I am going to stay with Cin and help her out with some of the voluminous paperwork she has to go through for a few days. Hoping to get to see all the grandchildren too.

All in all it has been a pretty easy transition from California to Colorado. Both of us really felt the Lord leading and it made the most sense for us at this stage of life and for Howard's career to make this move. The hardest part had been moving away from family and from loved ones. Especially with so much happening in this year since we've been gone. We're working on getting them to become Coloradians too!